Have you ever noticed yourself getting tense, irritable, or on edge when your home is messy? Maybe you have a hard time relaxing when the dishes aren’t done or when clutter sits in every corner you look.
If so, you’re not alone.
A messy space sends signals to your nervous system that things are unfinished, chaotic, or unsafe. Your brain craves order so your body can relax — it’s not just a preference, it’s biology.
But then comes pregnancy and postpartum… and everything gets harder.
Your capacity decreases.
Your energy plummets.
Your time evaporates.
Your brain still wants order, but your body can’t always keep up.
So the clutter builds.
The overwhelm builds.
And you’re stuck between two equally exhausting options:
push yourself to clean even when you’re wiped out… or let it go and feel uneasy all day.
For some people, cleaning is self-care.
For others, it’s the absolute last thing their brain or body can handle.
If you’re in the thick of pregnancy or postpartum, I want you to know this:
There are ways to ease the overwhelm without needing a perfectly clean house.
Here are some therapist-backed tips to support your mental wellness during this messy, beautiful, exhausting season.
1. Let Self-Care Change Every Day
Self-care in parenthood isn’t a routine — it’s a constantly shifting need.
One day, caring for yourself might look like cleaning the kitchen to help your mind settle.
The next day, caring for yourself might be choosing a nap even if there are dishes in the sink.
A guiding question I recommend asking is:
“What do I need most in this moment?”
If your body is begging for rest → take the nap.
If the mess is creating more stress than relief → do one small task to reset your space.
There is no right choice — only what supports you best in that moment.
2. Do Tiny Reset Tasks Throughout the Day
Small actions prevent overwhelm from snowballing.
These aren’t chores — they’re micro-resets for your nervous system.
Walk past a dirty burp cloth? Drop it in the hamper on your way by.
Finish a meal? Move the plate to the sink instead of leaving it on the table.
Notice trash sitting out? Toss it next time you walk to the kitchen.
These 10–15 second tasks keep chaos from piling up while also honoring your limited energy.
3. Ask for Help (Really — Ask.)
You’re not meant to do this season alone.
If someone offers help, take them up on it:
A friend stops by → give them the laundry basket.
Your mother-in-law is over for the afternoon → ask her to load the dishwasher.
A neighbor asks what you need → tell them a quick tidy would mean the world.
People genuinely want to support new parents — giving them something tangible to do can benefit everyone.
4. Create Simple Systems That Save Time
This season requires efficiency, not perfection.
Think about the tasks that drain you most, and create a system that makes them easier:
Constantly washing bottles and pump parts?
→ Keep a bin in the sink for dirty parts and wash everything once a day, not every time you use them.
Laundry piling up?
→ Have one “quick drop” basket where everything goes until someone can fold it.
Toys everywhere?
→ Have one catch-all bin that you empty out once a week.
Time is precious — systems help you get some of it back.
5. Ask for Practical Gifts (Like a House Cleaner)
Early postpartum is not the time to deep-clean your baseboards.
If someone asks what you need or what they can gift you, consider saying:
“A few weeks of a house cleaning service would help us so much right now.”
This is one of the most helpful, grounding gifts a new parent can receive — because a clean environment doesn’t just feel good, it supports mental health.
Final Thoughts
If your house feels messier than you want it to be right now, nothing is wrong with you.
You are navigating the most intense physical, emotional, and life-altering season there is.
Your nervous system craves order.
Your body craves rest.
And you’re doing your best to meet competing needs with the energy you have.
Gentle structure, support, and grace (lots of it) can make this season feel lighter.